Weekend of 45th seven day division; assessment

My primary goal at the current time is, firstly, to deliver the website faceplate of this studio
environment to a state of completion, or correctness. Having roughed along for months now with a
gestating guide of the morphing and misleading systems of cables and devices, I am growing
sufficiently tired of not knowing where a device I've documented in the past is addressed. It makes
for a stressful time in even the laxest improv springboard jams, with just myself or accompanied
by David. The benefit of having a verbose and accurate guide of the space is to seal it, so to
speak, with a mental fabric which would discourage or at least require justification for aimless
spending in the name of collecting - I am certain a volume of this will still occur, but at a
lesser rate. For the entire duration of the chronicling and attempts at ziptying this sack shut,
there's been a conscious pouring of all the more articles of reinvention and tangential
implementation over this process to the point those documentaries have stalled.

A craving that is intensifying the more I fantasize over an idealized cascading process ecosystem
(CPE) is a power patching system. A video which I've added to the favscenes page trumpets a
quickly suffocating in the atmosphere of reality encouraging statement of 'If You Can't Buy It,
Built It!'; as if I could even tie my shoes correctly. But in that video, the inspiration for the
endeavor is refreshingly outlined and conveniently is a microcosm of my conflict; the desire for
isolated power supplies for independent device trees that are located closely and often intermixed
in cabinets.
I envision this device as being around 6 to 8U and having rows of male and female C14 (obvious
which ones will belong to the energized description) connectors; the purpose of differentiation
is to of course avoid shorting together two power sources, which would likely be a lethal action -
the female would be the energized ones, by the way - as having them as male would be a ludicrous
electrocution hazard. These two precautions of design permit the AC cord to be the medium of
mains power carry; the concept borrows heavily from that of the audio 1/4 inch patchbay, where on
the rear you have connected all of the devices in need of energization, and the front a matrix of
hard-orientation sources and all 

Of course, as time marches on, there are battles of nonfunctionality that continually don't see
resolutions. Conscientious exacerbations of these conflicts by buying more in attempts to motivate
a breakthrough don't always achieve the intended result; in the case of the screw terminal gear
I've amassed at this point, none of it has witnessed even babysteps at progress, although I'm sure
its an imagined conflict as false as the whole 'cAn'T iMpOrT sAmPlEs OnTo SaMpLeR' insanity of 2022
and 2023. The steps necessary involve stepping back from the specifics, the searching for pre-made
cables, and watching cable making tutorials, grasping beyond the depthless 'shielding' grade
of understanding I'm currently at. Only then will I be comfortable with mangling existing cables
and establishing likely fragile terminal connections to these articles.

Optimization of the resource of space is a process that has been going on since the initial move
into this 8x10x10 foot room. Through a series of reorganizations, each edition lasting a few months,
cabinets have been moved, stacked, modified, etc. and tables added and subtracted. The current
arrangement of racks and a singular table makes the greatest deal of sense beneath perhaps a
difficult 90 degree rotation of everything contained, with the 'L' straightened to span one wall -
we'll see if that schema will be attempted. Anyhow, the current date being the 17th of November
2024, I've just completed moving synths from a cumbersome region of accessibility to one much more
friendly to the comfort of myself, replacing in the initial space articles which had been evicted
from their storage locations over time - some of these returning to this location and others being
inducted (the sequencer units). With the synthesizers now contained at a higher and far more
physically accessible region, their configuration and use is now natural, whereas it wasn't before.
With multiple extension cords, sourcing power from the intended locale is trivially accomplished.
The de-facto workflow now is begging to be that oriented around the Atari 1040 and synths as
opposed to samplers first, which makes much more sense when externalized; the largest conflict in
the path of productivity has for a while been the uninspiredness-borne absence of samples to
occupy these machines. I can definitely envision a more fruitful creative process going forward,
especially as I find areas in which to leverage the samplers in an inspired manner versus a
compulsory one.

dmc1; mchan01 akai s2000 chan5fostex
dmc2; mchanNA emu esi2000 chan6fostex
dmc3; mchan03 emu esi32 chan8fostex
dmc4; mchan04 yamaha tx81z chan1fostex
dmc5; mchan06 korg x5dr chan3fostex
dmc6; mchan05 roland mbd1 15T Neu2 chan2fostex
dmc7; mchan02 emu proteus 12T Neu2 chan4fostex

Conversations with David are always great initiators of self reflection and reappraisals of the
values which I base my standings around. He, in my eyes, is someone much like myself in
environment and means, with the differences being in experience and preoccupations mainly -
both of us born in 2003, apathetics, and previous holders of favorable social statuses, now ejected
from such platforms. Music is the primary joiner between us and similar to our conditions and
developments, are only minorly different; cross pollenation is frequent and as each of our tastes
osciallate, the beams refract and other cross sections are created that dictate the engagements we
participate in, be it Sludge metal imitation, or downtempo death metal, or most enjoyably thus far,
avant garde industrial-tribal music. This entry isn't to facilitate some homo confession, it is
rather to establish that I recognize him as my familiar, someone I see much of myself in, for better
or worse. Our political discussions are mutually respectful AND intensely substantive, with roller-
coaster dynamics of give, take, contest and concession, utilizing humor but never undermining the
serious pursuit of truth, of uprightness. In an ever complexifying world, David and I are required
to employ unorthodox frames of reference to communicate; something which was impossible between
Paola and I, whose mutual respect was revealed to be superficial.
>superficiality discussion coming next; women and media, visual and audio domains
Taking on and learning parallel to one another about world events and societies' reactions to them,
evaluating the justifiabilities of these (i.e. Trump supporters' accused intolerances of minorities
and confused youth, women's intensifying perspectives diminutive toward men, incels or romantically
disenfranchised young men equal and opposite diminutiveness toward women, etcetera.) is educative
and now moreso than ever so revealing and commentable versus past examples. It could be due to our
coming of age and arrival at places of identity which were gestational before, but I truly do suspect
the climate is producing more anomalies now which are prompting us to explore and disect.

Tequila Joe is an individual that has seen the full sequence of acquaintance and disacquaintance
from my four dimensional snake of existence. Born in Chicago to a father not unlike the one depicted
in Citizen Kane and mother who devoted herself to her sons, he's emblematic of an aerosol can;
a pressurized container that can only release through vacations to Thailand and via a domineering
personality. Admitting to narcissistic personality disorder or some tendency toward it early on, I
monitored the things he spoke about and would ask of me - having ventured to his warehouse a total
of around 15 times, each between the times of 5 AM and 7 AM to leave typically around 8 to 11,
I learned that he lived at the warehouse, the reason for his businesses' establishment and inspiration
behind it, his greater motivations in being successful, as well as his prior achievements and
molding experiences. To amass this quantity of knowledge about an individual speaks to their
transparency, advertent or not. Joe isn't someone I detest or admire, rather he's someone
I simply encountered and now have anecdotes about. I'd attribute the challenging aspects of his
character to his complexes and substance abuse, which I'm reasonably certain of. His attributes
were in the already mentioned conversational adeptness and generosity in wage - it's as if he
acknowledges and compensates for his cumbersome personality in that alone. Maybe his security in
admittance is the equation - he feels as though admitting to his preposterousness obsolves them
within himself and you and the wage equalizes it and he thusly feels no need to correct it. Where
I would diverge logically from that is in the acceptance of my own unreasonableness - not suffering
from a narcissistic personality disorder, I have a normal or close to normal perception of myself
and I would especially be careful to be reasonable in a position of authority over someone. I think
of myself as a generally competent worker too, albeit with low experience (not at all uncommon for
most belonging to generation Z), so the outcome which would like to assign guilt to me is troubling,
at least mildly.

Five years have seen the changing of seasons of my being - friends evaporating and reprecipitating,
styles of music entering and exiting my conscience, approaches to a myriad of topics materializing
and seeing revolution, etc. Each individual subdivision of time will eventually be reminisced and
weighed in writing - I have already done this for 2018 and 2019, significant but distinctly removed
from relevancy to the current problems / values I'm preoccupied with now. It seems as if I've
completely transformed; my political sentiments are diametrically opposite of what they were as
late as early 2020, my level of confidence a skin of what it was, inflated as it may have been,
and my attitude/demeanor - I've jokingly referenced obtaining a drivers' license as being the
turning point of my downward slide. All of this alluding to a loss of way isn't to say I miss or
regret all of the actions which have transported me far away from the continued travel of those
trails, it is instead a reflective acknowledgement that the degree of change has been extreme and
somewhat devastating. I sit here doing something I have since November-ish 2021, which is unload
the unmarked and heavy thoughts that cannibalize mental resources. A silent truth is that these
entries are not some consolidating, final gesture despite the tenses used throughout their pages -
change can blow through immediately after or during such a process, and this is perhaps what
limits my enthusiasm for it at times - with as easy as it is to lose a train of thought, what is
the purpose, the benefit of carefully filling up these slates with compromising insights especially
when you know they'll only ever mean anything to one person, who hasn't the desire to revisit
any editions. Beyond an excretion of momentarily anchoring thought clusters, it really does seem to
be an expensive and unfulfilling activity at times. But on another hand, the impermanence is the
most celebratory aspect of the activity; the lid is never closed on one's life while they are still
breathing, let alone engaging in the activity of writing; exporting thought. The activity is
very much a round robin, where doing it can and often triggers itself again - its prompts, that is.
An experience can always inspire the urge to write, but I find if a backlog of suspensions has
already begun to mount (like in my case right now), only the act of writing itself can effectively
jumpstart the effectiveness of happenchance motivation once more - like manually unclogging a drain.
What I am compelled to write about now are the new experiences, ones that have fearful/dread
elements - employment being a hot one currently. The nature of authoritative hierarchy is something
that is healthily bewildering to me in the present, where romantic unraveling had been what elicited
those same/neighboring reactions three years ago. Fickleness of social bonds was a rich well in
2022 and 2023 and later decalibration of shared values in the creative sector took over in later
'23 and early '24. Perhaps ignorant, but this constant migration of compelling material seems
to be the personal region of conflict within me respecting academic commitment - in school, students
are presented a variety of subjects to be explored at a rigor which ramps up over time - a minimum
of exposure/absorption is required for each, but the individual gravitation to exclusive areas
is the unstated and reluctant goal of the architecture. Why reluctant? - the scheme doesn't
accomodate for this partiality beyond ineffective extracurricular engagements and implies that the
appropriate time for such is during the final months of the process altogether, when the
determination of eligibility is made not by you, but institutions. As an unremarkable student,
I am predictably critical of the standing systems and am biased against the notion of their
effectiveness. However, I do understand that no system is bonafide and take my own observations,
critiques with a grain of salt. I observe the uncontroversial truth that the world is growing ever
the more complex and point to that as the culprit for the ills of myself and an incalculable number
of others, human and structural.
Social turbulence is something I feel is legitimately actionable and an area where resources are
better invested, as at the heart of all human constructs is a gooey center, one influenceable
through the push-pull of character warfare. Religion is this center of governments usually,
which explains the inescapable relevance it bears, as Catholicism is the ethical informant of
European and Spanish peoples, and people belonging to those descriptions are molded at varying
degrees of integrality within these values. It (this human/structural core definition) explains
or demystifies the issue of cultural animosities and seemingly perpetual incompatibility between
examples of those opposite on the axis of sanctity; religious strictness. As time goes on and
cracks give way to newer generations of smaller, thinner cracks, once simple issues become
labirynthical burdens; I would point to the breakdown of the sexual condition, in the west
specifically as a crack derived from the free love movement, a progression away from strict
religious templates of acceptability.

Further exploring a specific exchange I held with David, our absurdism-heavy dialogue about the
state of women's rights and the validity of the calls for expanding them has given me a lot of
argumentative surfaces to bounce off of. As I had communicated, I feel that the landscape has been
beyond fair to the females for quite a long time - over the course of the twentieth century, women
had gained more and more platforms upon which to climb to a state of homeostasis with the males -
by 1975 I'd say the prior conventions had dissolved enough to consider them unrepresentative of
normalcy. Divorce rates, and the very ability of women to initiate divorce, is indicative to me of
an equal balance, and over time we observe these increase - indifferent to the concept, I don't
view marriage as an imperative or some ultimate legitimizer of union, but I believe that if it were,
the incidence of its abandonment speaks to a perilous condition. Understanding the human condition
and the falliability of each of its possessors, the fault absolutely lies in the laps of both men
and women; abusive habits have always existed and now have simply evolved from primarily physical
to being more subtle, concealable from both the abused and others. When it becomes accepted that
physicality in the domestic realm is indefensible, its clear that other channels must be used, and
as dynamics evolved to become more cerebral, the consensus lagged behind to still condemn males for
all issues on the surface. I would wager that what I've unfurled here isn't an unpopular perspective,
so the continued demonization of men by women is all the more curious to me. We cannot criticize
them, or, if
critiquable, the affixment of patterns to the greater female sex is a transgression, so the balance
will carry on in the crooked position it assumes now. And entertainment especially continues to
propagate empowering and inversely demoralizing materials passed off as simple innocous music or
media; the question is begged that if media was so egregious in the promotion of unhealthy physical
standards as recently as ten years ago, why is the plausibility of it promoting an untrue-to-reality 
and thusly damaging narrative
zero? My theory is that long have ordinary consumers of conventional slop been asleep to any
suggestions of their evil, which is why externalized blame placement is the standard for nearly all
women, who are frankly more targeted and thus more predisposed to this mold. Additionally, those not
adhering to the mainstream trough licking model have tuned out from these circuits and are oblivious
to their current state, to the point they are in denial of the sins I've accused it of here.